"If you're gonna blame people for all the shit you better blame them for all the good too. If you're gonna give them credit for everything that's f*cked up, you better give them credit for everything's that's great too." Tony Robbins
It's an easy victim-perpetuating game to dump on someone and blame them for everything that’s gone wrong. I too have fallen prey to such projections. But we can’t have one without the other. We can’t disown the shit and claim the sugar. Sugar only tastes so sweet cos we know how bad shit tastes! If we unconsciously choose to maintain an aversion to the shit in life by making someone else responsible for it, then we can’t expect to claim the goodies as our own. It just doesn’t work like that.
The times when I have blamed another for “making” me feel bad/angry/upset/rejected, I have done not them, but myself, a terrible disservice. Whilst dishing out blame, I have also handed over my power to be the conscious creator of my own life.
The truth is, that my so-called “enemies”, are actually my greatest asset in life. It’s because of, not in spite of, all those who have pushed me over or tried to tear me down that I’ve dug deeper, sunk my roots further into my core and rose stronger.
It’s because my dad rarely showed up that I stay present with myself and give space to feel my feelings. It’s because he didn’t have the strength to fight for his right to show his love for me that I’ve worked fucking hard to believe I am worthy and to love myself. My ex might be responsible for dumping me on my arse at a time when I needed the most support, but he’s also responsible for me cultivating greater forgiveness, he’s also responsible for me sinking into my vulnerability and opening to a deeper faith in the infinite love and support of Great Spirit, he’s responsible for me learning to express love freely without expecting any validation in return, and, bless him, he’s also responsible for plunging me into the greatest love for myself I could ever have discovered.
I am the woman I am today because you have forced me to grown into her. You have challenged any stagnant remains of the old princess to drop that small shit and step up and into the greatness of being a Goddess. The little girl in me might have been dragged kicking and screaming “F*ck You!”, but the real Woman that I am says “Thank You. I owe it to You”.
So if I dare make you responsible for my shit again, then damn straight hold me accountable for also making you responsible for my sugar.
In Truth ~ Debra